growing up & moving out — self growth

Growing up is a side effect of life itself and man is it fun. We are brought into the world as tiny helpless infants and we grow into functioning adults of society. Everyday shapes who we become and we are constantly changing and adapting to life, to new circumstances, new friendships, new relationships and just life things. As long as I can remember I have been a major advocate of self-love. I put myself first and choose to gravitate towards what makes me happy and those around me happy. My internal well-being has always been my major priority.

I moved away from home the September after high-school, to a new city where I knew very little people, to go to school. By having to adapt to this change in my life, I discovered another super important level of self love. Self-growth. Parents and mentors and peers can only prepare you for so much. How to grow as yourself is the one thing that only you can learn on your own.

To me, self growth is allowing what makes you feel uncomfortable, feel comfortable. That’s how you see the growth in it! I think back to my first year of university and I remember different things that made the introvert inside me anxious. Things like social events, meeting new people, attending study groups on my own and overall living life as just me. Even going to church on my own would stress me right out. I think back to how crazy that was! Sometimes I’ll be in a setting and think, “wow, I would’ve been stressed in this situation previously.” I allowed myself to feel uncomfortable and then I safely pushed my boundaries. To find comfort in the unknown.

I write this journal, on the airplane. On my first solo trip, to Manchester, England. 3 airplanes and 3 train rides and 1 Uber. All by myself. I always thought about studying abroad. How fun to travel and continue my education at the same time. I distinctly remember a conversation with a good friend in her kitchen over a year ago. I was contemplating the idea and thought about maybe putting it off until the end of my degree. Her response was to go sooner rather then later. Just to commit and go for it. I have a personality where I semi need to be told what to decide what to do before I can really be all in. She pushed me to be all in.   Now here I am wondering how everything has worked itself together in this yearlong process to get me to where I am.

I believe that when you place something on your heart to happen and it’s meant to happen, everything will eventually work out. That goes for everything honestly. There’s so much in life to stress about, but placing energy into the positives in life allows for the positives to be returned in the future. That’s another self-growth project I have learnt and still need to consciously practice. To not be consumed by stressing over the minor details.

I’m nervous to relearn how to live on my own in a place totally new! I won’t be able to call my Mom when I’m wandering the grocery store and need a chat. I can’t drive to my best friends house when I need a hug. I’m going to have to learn how to navigate a new place. My sense of direction is honestly my fatal flaw – so that in it’s own will be fun. I’m going to stress out and I’m going to be uncomfortable but this is the time to grow a little more as my own.

I am beyond thankful for the opportunities I have had in life. Especially, for the support of my family and friends, for those who have encouraged me in this, when I doubted myself. To my Mom who helped solidified my plans and every detail for this trip, I don’t know how she does it. To my Dad who drove me to the airport at 5am and continues to be proud of me and have confidence in me. To my best friends that I love so much, who always always always cheer me on and support me. I want to encourage everyone who reads this, to do the same! To allow your-self to be super uncomfortable to then be open to become really comfortable. To dream really big dreams and watch your-self grow with them. That’s it – growing up and moving out.

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